Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Script
It’s grand and modern. Random House-Knopf-Taschen is etched
on the wall in large gold letters. An old woman enters
carrying a tattered manuscript, maybe a thousand pages. She
seems haunted, hollow-eyed, sickly. The young receptionist,
dressed in a shiny, stretchy one-piece pantsuit, looks up.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh, hi.
OLD WOMAN
(apologetically)
Hi, I was in the neighborhood and thought
I’d see --
RECEPTIONIST
I think he’s in a conference.
Unfortunately. I’m really sorry.
OLD WOMAN
Would you just try him? You never know.
As long as I’m here. You never know.
RECEPTIONIST
Of course. Please have a seat.
The old woman smiles and sits, the bulky manuscript on her
lap. She stares politely straight ahead.
RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)
(quietly into headset)
It’s her -- I know, but couldn’t you just
-- Yes, I know, but -- I know, but she’s
old and it would be a nice -- Yes, sorry.
(to old woman)
I’m sorry, ma’am, he’s not in right now.
It’s a crazy time of year for us.
The receptionist gestures toward a Christmas tree in the
corner. Its ornaments are holograms.
OLD WOMAN
This book -- It’s essential that people
read it because --
(gravely, patting the
manuscript)
-- It’s the truth. And only I know it.
RECEPTIONIST
(nodding sympathetically)
Maybe after the holidays then.
INT. TILED HALLWAY - DAY
The old woman carries her manuscript haltingly down a subway
hall. She stops to catch her breath, then continues and
passes several archway with letters printed above them. When
she arrives at one topped by an LL, she slips a card in a
slot. A plastic molded chair drops into the archway. She
sits in the chair; it rises.
INT. TUBE -DAY
The woman is still in the chair as it slips gracefully into a
line of chairs shooting through a glass tube. The other
chairs are peopled with commuters. We stay with the woman as
she and the others travel over New York City in the tube.
There are hundreds of these commuter tubes crisscrossing the
skyline. The woman glances at the manuscript in her lap.
It’s called:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This serves as the movie’s opening title. The other credits
follow, as the old woman studies commuters in passing tubes.
Their faces are variously harsh and sad and lonely and blank.
INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY
SUBTITLED: FIFTY YEARS EARLIER
Every doctor’s office waiting room: chairs against the wall,
magazines on end tables, a sad-looking potted plant, generic
seascape paintings on the walls. The receptionist, Mary, 25,
can be seen typing in the reception area. Behind her are
shelves and shelves of medical files. The door opens and
Clementine enters. She’s in her early thirties, zaftig in a
faux fur winter coat over an orange hooded sweatshirt. She’s
decidedly funky and has blue hair. Mary looks up.
MARY
May I help you?
CLEMENTINE
(approaching reception area)
Yeah, hi, I have a one o’clock with Dr.
Mierzwiak. Clementine Kruczynski.
MARY
Yes, please have a seat. He’ll be right
with you.
Clementine sits. She looks tired, maybe hungover. She picks
up a magazine at random and thumbs without interest.
INT. INNER OFFICE AREA - CONTINUOUS
Mary pads down the hallway. She knocks on a closed door.
MIERZWIAK (O.S.)
Yes?
Mary opens the door, peeks in. Howard Mierzwiak, 40’s,
professional, dry, sits behind his desk studying some papers.
MARY
Howard, your one o’clock.
MIERZWIAK
(not looking up)
Thanks, Mary. You can bring her in.
She smiles and nods. It’s clear she’s in love. It’s equally
clear that Mierzwiak doesn’t have a clue. Mary turns to
leave.
MIERZWIAK (CONT’D)
(looking up)
Mary...
MARY
(turning back)
Yes?
MIERZWIAK
Order me a pastrami for after?
MARY
Cole slaw, ice tea?
MIERZWIAK
(nodding)
Thanks.
MARY
Welcome, Howard.
She smiles and heads down the hall. Stan, 30’s, tall,
spindly, and earnest in a lab coat pops out of a doorway.
STAN
Boo.
MARY
Hi.
She glances back nervously at Mierzwiak’s open door.
STAN
Barely seen you all morning, kiddo.
He leans in to kiss her. She cranes her neck to keep him
off.
MARY
(reprimanding whisper)
Stan... c’mon...
STAN
Sorry. I just --
MARY
(somewhat guiltilly)
It’s just...y’know... I mean...
STAN
I know. Anyway --
MARY
Anyway, I’ve got to do my tap
dance here.
She indicates the door to the reception area. Stan nods.
STAN
See you later, alligator.
MARY
’kay.
STAN
Hey, if you’re ordering lunch for
Mierzwiak, would you --
MARY
I better do this, Stan.
Stan nods again and Mary opens the door to the waiting room.
MARY (CONT’D)
Ms. Kruczynski?
CLEMENTINE (O.S.)
Hi.
After a moment, Clementine appears in the doorway. Mary
leads her down the hall, not looking back.
MARY
(professionally courteous)
How are you today?
CLEMENTINE
Okay, I guess.
MARY
(at Mierzwiak’s office)
Here we are.
Mierzwiak steps out from behind his desk.
MIERZWIAK
Ms. Kruczynski, please come in.
Clementine enters the office. Mary smiles at Mierzwiak and
closes the door, leaving them alone.
INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Mierzwiak directs Clementine to a chair next to a coffee
table and a conspicuously placed box of tissues. Mierzwiak
sits across from her. He smiles.
MIERZWIAK
How are you today?
CLEMENTINE
Okay, I guess.
MIERZWIAK
(nodding sympathetically)
Well, why don’t you tell me what’s going
on? Do you mind if I turn this on?
He indicates a tape recorder.
CLEMENTINE
I don’t care.
He turns it on, smiles at her, gestures for her to begin.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Well, I’ve been having a bad time of it
with um, my boyfriend, I guess.
MIERZWIAK
You guess he’s your boyfriend? Or you
guess you’re having a bad time with hm?
CLEMENTINE
What? No. I don’t like the term
boyfriend. It’s so gay.
Mierzwiak nods. He’s attentive, pleasant, and neutral
throughout.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Maybe gay isn’t the right word. But,
anyway, it’s been rough with him...
whatever the fuck he is. Heheh. My
significant other... heh heh. And I
guess on a certain level, I want to break
it off, but I feel... y’know... it’s like
this constant questioning and re
questioning. Do I end it? Should I give
it more time? I’m not happy, but what do
I expect? Relationships require work.
You know the drill. The thing that I
keep coming back to is, I’m not getting
any younger, I want to have a baby... at
some point... maybe... right? So then I
think I should settle -- which is not
necessarily the best word -- I mean, he’s
a good guy. It’s not really settling.
Then I think maybe I’m just a victim of
movies, y’know? That I have some
completely unrealistic notion of what a
relationship can be. But then I think,
no, this is what I really want, so I
should allow myself the freedom to go out
and fucking find it. You know? Agreed?
But then I think he is a good guy and...
It’s complicated. Y’know?
MIERZWIAK
I think I know. I think we can help. Why
don’t you start by telling me about your
relationship. Everything you can think
of. Everything about him. Everything
about you. And we’ll take it from there.
She nods, thinks.
CLEMENTINE
Um, well, he’s a fucking tidy one --
EXT. COMMUTER TRAIN STATION
SUBTITLE: TWO WEEKS LATER
The platform is crowded with business commuters. Joel is
among them. He is in his 30’s, gaunt, and holding a
briefcase. The platform across the tracks from him is empty.
Suddenly he turns and makes his way through the crowd. He
climbs the stairs, crosses the overpass to the empty
platform. Soon an almost empty train pulls up to that
platform. Joel gets on and watches the business commuters
through the dirty window as his train pulls out of the
station.
EXT. MONTAUK TRAIN STATION - LATER
Joel talks on a phone. The wind howls around him. He tries
to shield the mouthpiece as he talks.
JOEL
Hi, Cindy. Joel. Listen, I’m not
feeling well this morning. No. Food
poisoning, I think. Sorry it took me so
long to call in, but I’ve been vomiting.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Joel wanders the windy, empty beach, with his briefcase. He
passes an old man with a metal detector. They nod at each
other.
Later: Joel looks out at the ocean.
Later: Joel sits on a rock and pulls out a notebook. He
opens it and writes with a gloved hand.
JOEL
January 13th, 2006. Today I skipped work
and took the train out to Montauk.
(thinks)
It’s cold.
(thinks some more)
The sky is gray.
(thinks some more)
I don’t know what else to say. Nothing
happens. Nothing changes. I saw Naomi
last night. We had sex. It was weird to
fall into our old familiar sex life so
easily. Like no time has passed. After
two years apart suddenly we’re talking
about getting together again. I guess
that’s good.
He has no other thoughts. He glances up, spots a female
figure in the distance, walking in his direction. She stands
out against the gray in a fluorescent orange hooded
sweatshirt. It’s Clementine. He watches her for a bit, then
as she nears, he goes back to his writing, or at least
pretends to. Once she passed, he watches her walk away. She
stops and stares out at the ocean. Joel writes.
JOEL (V.O.) (CONT’D)
If I’m constitutionally incapable of
making eye-contact with a woman I don’t
know. I guess I’d better get back to
Naomi.
Later: Joel walks up near the beach houses closed for the
season. He peeks cautiously in a dark window.
Later: Joel digs into the sand with a stick.
INT. DINER - DAY
It’s a local tourist place, but off-season empty. Joel sits
in a booth and eats a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of
tomato soup. An elderly couple drink coffee at the counter.
Clementine enters, looks around, takes off her hood. Joel
glances at her bright blue hair. She picks an empty booth
and sits. Joel studies her discreetly. The waitress
approaches her with a coffee pot.
WAITRESS
Coffee?
CLEMENTINE
God, yes. You’ve saved my life!
The waitress pours the coffee.
WAITRESS
You know what you want yet?
CLEMENTINE
(laughing)
Ain’t that the question of the century.
The waitress is not amused.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
You got grilled cheese and tomato soup?
WAITRESS
Yeah. We’re having a run on it.
The waitress heads to the grill. Clementine fishes in her
bag, brings the coffee cup under the table for a moment,
pours something in, then brings the cup back up.
CLEMENTINE
(calling)
And some cream, please.
Clementine looks around the place. Her eyes meet Joel’s
before he is able to look away. She smiles vaguely. He
looks embarrassed, then down at his journal. Clementine
pulls a book from her purse and starts to read. Joel glances
up, tries to see the cover. It’s blue. He can’t read the
title.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
Joel stares out at the ocean. Far down the beach Clementine
stares at it, too. Joel glances sideways at her then back at
the ocean.
EXT. MONTAUK TRAIN STATION PLATFORM - LATE AFTERNOON
Joel sits on the bench waiting for a train. Clementine
enters the platform, sees Joel, the only other person there.
She waves, sort of goofily enthusiastic, playing as if
they’re old friends. He waves back, embarrassed. She takes
a seat on a bench far down the platform. Joel stares at his
hands, pulls out his journal and tries to write in order to
conceal his awkwardness.
INT. TRAIN - A BIT LATER
Joel sits at the far end of the empty car and watches the
slowly passing desolate terrain. After a moment the door
between cars opens and Clementine enters. Joel looks up.
Clementine is not looking at him; she busies herself deciding
where to sit. She settles on a seat at the opposite end of
the car. Joel looks out the window. He feels her watching
him. The train is picking up speed. Finally:
CLEMENTINE
(calling over the rumble)
Hi!
Joel looks over.
JOEL
I’m sorry.
CLEMENTINE
Why?
JOEL
Why what?
CLEMENTINE
Why are you sorry? I just said hi.
JOEL
No, I didn’t know if you were talking to
me, so...
She looks around the empty car.
CLEMENTINE
Really?
JOEL
(embarrassed)
Well, I didn’t want to assume.
CLEMENTINE
Aw, c’mon, live dangerously. Take the
leap and assume someone is talking to you
in an otherwise empty car.
JOEL
Anyway. Sorry. Hi.
Clementine makes her way down the aisle towards Joel.
CLEMENTINE
It’s okay if I sit closer? So I don’t
have to scream. Not that I don’t need to
scream sometimes, believe me.
(pause)
But I don’t want to bug you if you’re
trying to write or something.
JOEL
No, I mean, I don’t know. I can’t really
think of much to say probably.
CLEMENTINE
Oh. So...
She hesitates in the middle of the car, looks back where she
came from.
JOEL
I mean, it’s okay if you want to sit down
here. I didn’t mean to --
CLEMENTINE
No, I don’t want to bug you if you’re
trying to --
JOEL
It’s okay, really.
CLEMENTINE
Just, you know, to chat a little, maybe.
I have a long trip ahead of me.
(sits across aisle from Joel)
How far are you going? On the train, I
mean, of course.
JOEL
Rockville Center.
CLEMENTINE
Get out! Me too! What are the odds?
JOEL
The weirder part is I think actually I
recognize you. I thought that earlier in
the diner. That’s why I was looking at
you. You work at Borders, right?
CLEMENTINE
Ucch, really? You’re kidding. God.
Bizarre small world, huh? Yeah, that’s
me: book slave there for, like, five
years now.
JOEL
Really? Because --
CLEMENTINE
Jesus, is it five years? I gotta quit
right now.
JOEL
-- because I go there all the time. I
don’t think I ever saw you before.
CLEMENTINE
Well, I’m there. I hide in the back as
much as is humanly possible. You have a
cell phone? I need to quit right this
minute. I’ll call in dead.
JOEL
I don’t have one.
CLEMENTINE
I’ll go on the dole. Like my daddy
before me.
JOEL
I noticed your hair. I guess it made an
impression on me, that’s why I was pretty
sure I recognized you.
CLEMENTINE
Ah, the hair.
(pulls a strand in front of her
eyes, studies it)
Blue, right? It’s called Blue Ruin. The
color. Snappy name, huh?
JOEL
I like it.
CLEMENTINE
Blue ruin is cheap gin in case you were
wondering.
JOEL
Yeah. Tom Waits says it in --
CLEMENTINE
Exactly! Tom Waits. Which song?
JOEL
I can’t remember.
CLEMENTINE
Anyway, this company makes a whole line
of colors with equally snappy names. Red
Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution.
That’d be a job, coming up with those
names. How do you get a job like that?
That’s what I’ll do. Fuck the dole.
JOEL
I don’t really know how --
CLEMENTINE
Purple Haze, Pink Eraser.
JOEL
You think that could possibly be a full
time job? How many hair colors could
there be?
CLEMENTINE
(pissy)
Someone’s got that job.
(excited)
Agent Orange! I came up with that one.
Anyway, there are endless color
possibilities and I’d be great at it.
JOEL
I’m sure you would.
CLEMENTINE
My writing career! Your hair written by
Clementine Kruczynski.
(thought)
The Tom Waits album is Rain Dogs.
JOEL
You sure? That doesn’t sound --
CLEMENTINE
I think. Anyway, I’ve tried all their
colors. More than once. I’m getting too
old for this. But it keeps me from
having to develop an actual personality.
I apply my personality in a paste. You?
JOEL
Oh, I doubt that’s the case.
CLEMENTINE
Well, you don’t know me, so... you don’t
know, do you?
JOEL
Sorry. I was just trying to be nice.
CLEMENTINE
Yeah, I got it.
There’s a silence.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
My name’s Clementine, by the way.
JOEL
I’m Joel.
CLEMENTINE
No jokes about my name? Oh, you wouldn’t
do that; you’re trying to be nice.
JOEL
I don’t know any jokes about your name.
CLEMENTINE
Huckleberry Hound?
JOEL
I don’t know what that means.
CLEMENTINE
Huckleberry Hound! What, are you nuts?
JOEL
I’m nut nuts.
CLEMENTINE
(singing)
Oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’, oh my
darlin’ Clementine? No?
JOEL
Sorry. It’s a pretty name, though. It
means "merciful", right?
CLEMENTINE
(impressed)
Yeah. Although it hardly fits. I’m a
vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
JOEL
See, I wouldn’t think that about you.
CLEMENTINE
(pissy)
Why wouldn’t you think that about me?
JOEL
Oh. I don’t know. I was just... I don’t
know. I was... You seemed nice, so --
CLEMENTINE
Now I’m nice? Don’t you know any other
adjectives? There’s careless and snotty
and overbearing and argumentative...
mumpish.
JOEL
Well, anyway... Sorry.
They sit in silence for a while.
CLEMENTINE
I just don’t think "nice" is a
particularly interesting thing to be.
The conductor enters the car.
CONDUCTOR
Tickets.
Joel hands the conductor his ticket. The conductor punches
it and hands it back.
CLEMENTINE
What is nice, anyway? I mean, besides an
adjective? I guess it can be an adverb,
sort of.
The conductor turns to Clementine. She fishes in her bag.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
It doesn’t reveal anything. Nice is
pandering. Cowardly.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
And life is more interesting than that.
Or should be. Jesus God, I hope it is...
someday.
(to conductor)
I know it’s here.
The conductor and Joel watch as she gets more agitated.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
I don’t need nice. I don’t need myself
to be it and I don’t need anyone else to
be it at me.
JOEL
Okay.
CLEMENTINE
Shit. Shit. I know it’s here. Hold on.
She dumps the contents of the bag onto the seat and sifts
frantically through. Joel sees the book she was reading in
the diner. It’s The Play by Stephen Dixon.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Damn it. DAMN IT!
(there it is)
Oh. Here.
She hands the conductor the tickets, smiles sweetly. He
punches it, hands it back to her, and walks away.
CONDUCTOR
Next stop Southampton.
The conductor heads into the next car. Clementine shoves
stuff back into her purse. Her hands are a little shaky.
She pulls a airline-sized bottle of alcohol from her pocket,
opens it, and downs it. Joel is watching all of this but
pretending not to. She looks out the window for a while.
The train pulls into the station. The doors open. Nobody
gets on. The doors close. The train pulls out.
CLEMENTINE
Joel? It’s Joel, right?
JOEL
Yes?
CLEMENTINE
I’m sorry I... yelled at you. Was it
yelling? I can’t really tell. Whatever,
I’m a little out of sorts today.
JOEL
That’s okay.
CLEMENTINE
(stares out window)
My embarrassing admission is I really
like that you’re nice. Right now,
anyway. I can’t tell from one moment to
the next what I’m going to like. But
right now I’m glad you said, "that’s
okay" to me. That was nice of you.
JOEL
It’s no problem. Anyway, I have some
stuff I need to --
CLEMENTINE
Oh, okay. Well, sure, I’ll just...
(stands, throws bag over
shoulder)
Take care, then.
JOEL
(pulling journal from
briefcase)
Probably see you at the book store.
CLEMENTINE
(heading toward other end of
car)
Unless I get that hair-color-naming job.
Clementine sits and stares out the window.
INT. TRAIN - LATER
There are a few more people in the car now. Clementine has
inched a few seats closer to Joel. She watches him. His
head is immersed in his journal.
INT. TRAIN - LATER
It’s dark out. The train is pretty crowded. Joel stares out
the window. Clementine sits closer still to Joel, eyes him.
EXT. TRAIN STATION - EVENING
The doors open and Joel emerges along with others. He heads
to the parking lot, arrives at the car. There’s a big dented
scrape along the driver’s side. He gets in.
INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Joel drives. He passes Clementine walking. She looks cold.
He considers, slows, rolls down his window.
JOEL
Hi. I could give you a ride if you need.
CLEMENTINE
No, that’s okay. Thanks, though.
JOEL
You’re sure? It’s cold.
CLEMENTINE
I don’t want to take you out of your way.
JOEL
It’s okay.
CLEMENTINE
Yeah?
He pulls over. She climbs in. They drive.
JOEL
Where do you live?
CLEMENTINE
You’re not a stalker or anything, right?
JOEL
Well, I probably wouldn’t say if I were,
but no.
CLEMENTINE
You can’t be too careful. I’ve been
stalked. I’ve been told I’m highly
stalkable. I don’t need that.
JOEL
I’m not a stalker.
CLEMENTINE
(beat)
You know Wilmont?
JOEL
Yeah.
CLEMENTINE
Wilmont. Near the high school.
Joel turns. They drive in silence.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Look, I’m very sorry I came off sort of
nutso. I’m not really.
JOEL
It’s okay. I didn’t think you were.
There’s a silence.
CLEMENTINE
So you like bookstores, huh?
JOEL
I like to read.
CLEMENTINE
Me too. It is Rain Dogs, by the way.
JOEL
Yeah? I can’t remember that album very
well. I remember liking it. But --
CLEMENTINE
The song’s 9th and Hennepin. I spent
most of the train ride trying to
remember. "Till you’re full of rag water
and bitters and blue ruin/And you spill
out/Over the side to anyone who’ll
listen." Remember?
JOEL
Sort of, um...
CLEMENTINE
Remember? "And you take on the dreams of
the ones who have slept there/And I’m
lost in the window/I hide on the
stairway/I hang in the curtain/I sleep in
your hat..."
(starts to cry)
Oh, shit. I’m so stupid. Sorry.
JOEL
What?
CLEMENTINE
I’m just a bit of a wreck. "I sleep in
your hat" makes me cry.
(pointing to a house)
Me.
Joel pulls over.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Thanks very much. That was very nice of
you.
JOEL
Well, I wouldn’t want to be --
CLEMENTINE
Oh, geez, I’m full of shit. I already
told you that.
(pause)
Anyway. See Ya.
Clementine opens the car door.
JOEL
Take care.
CLEMENTINE
(turning back)
Hey, do you want to have a drink? I have
lots of drinks. And I could --
JOEL
Um --
CLEMENTINE
Never mind. Sorry, that was stupid. I’m
embarrassed. Good night, Joel.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S APARTMENT - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Joel stands in the living room, somewhat nervously. He tries
to calm himself by focusing on the surroundings. He looks at
the books on her shelves. Clementine is in the kitchen. We
see her as she passes by the doorway several times, preparing
drinks and chatting.
CLEMENTINE
Thanks. I like it, too. Been here about
four years. It’s really cheap. My
downstairs neighbor is old so she’s
quiet, which is great. And the
landlord’s sweet, which is bizarre, but
great, and I have a little porch in the
back, which is great, because I can read
there, and listen to my crickets and...
Clementine is in the living room now with two gin and tonics.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Two blue ruins...
Joel is looking at a framed black and white photograph of
crows flying.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
You like that?
JOEL
Very much.
CLEMENTINE
This... someone gave that to me, just
like, recently. I like it, too. I like
crows. I think I used to be a crow.
She caws and hands Joel a drink.
JOEL
Thanks. That was good, that crow sound.
CLEMENTINE
Do you believe in that stuff?
Reincarnation?
JOEL
I don’t know.
CLEMENTINE
Me neither. Oh, there’s an inscription
on the back.
(takes it off the wall, reads:)
The way a crow/Shook down on me/The dust
of snow/From a hemlock tree/Has given my
heart/A change of mood/And saved some
part/Of a day I rued.
JOEL
Frost?
CLEMENTINE
(impressed)
Yeah. I’m not, like, a Robert Frost
lover by any stretch. His stuff seems
strictly grade school to me. But this
made me cry for some reason. Maybe
because it is grade school. Y’know?
JOEL
It’s pretty.
CLEMENTINE
I miss grade school. I don’t know why
I’m calling it grade school all of a
sudden. When I went we called it
elementary school. But I like grade
school better. Sounds like something
someone from the forties would call it.
I’d like to be from then. Everyone wore
hats. Anyway, cheers!
JOEL
Cheers.
They click glasses. Clementine giggles and takes a big gulp
of her drink. Joel sips. She plops down on the couch and
pulls her boots off.
CLEMENTINE
God, that feels so fucking good. Take
yours off.
JOEL
I’m fine.
CLEMENTINE
Yeah? Well, have a seat, anyway.
Joel sits in a chair across the room. Clementine finishes
her drink.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Ready for another?
JOEL
No, I’m okay for now.
She heads toward the kitchen with her glass.
CLEMENTINE
Well, I’m ready. Put some music on.
Joel crosses to the CD’s and studies them.
JOEL
What do you want to hear?
CLEMENTINE (O.S.)
You pick it.
JOEL
You just say. I’m not really --
CLEMENTINE (O.S.)
I don’t know! I can’t see them from
here, Joel! Just pick something good.
Joel studies the unfamiliar CD’s. He picks up Bang On a Can
performing Brian Eno’s Music for Airports to look at.
Clementine reenters with her drink.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Oh, excellent choice.
She grabs it and sticks it in the CD player. The music is
dreamy and haunting and slow. Clementine falls back onto the
couch, closes her eyes and sips her drink.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Mmmmmmm. Way to go, Joel. You pick
good.
Joel sits down in his chair and drinks. There’s a silence,
which seems fine to Clementine but makes Joel anxious.
JOEL
Well, I should probably get going.
CLEMENTINE
No, stay. Just for a little while.
(opens her eyes, brightly)
Refill?
JOEL
No. I --
CLEMENTINE
I know a man who needs a refill.
She grabs Joel’s drink from his hand, takes it into the
kitchen.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D) (O.S.) (CONT’D)
God bless alcohol, is what I say. Where
would I be without it. Oh, Jesus, Mary,
and Joseph, maybe I don’t want to think
about that.
She giggles. Joel looks around the room again. There are
several potatoes dressed as women in beautiful handmade
costumes: a nurse potato, a stripper potato, a schoolteacher
potato, a housewife potato. Clementine returns with Joel’s
drink and a refill for herself.
JOEL
Thanks.
CLEMENTINE
Drink up, young man. It’ll make the
whole seduction part less repugnant.
Joel looks a little alarmed.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
I’m just kidding. C’mon.
She sits back on the couch, closes her eyes. Joel watches
her, looks at her breasts. She opens her eyes, smiles
drunkenly at him.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Y’know, I’m sort of psychic.
JOEL
Yeah?
CLEMENTINE
Well, I go to a psychic and she’s always
telling me I’m psychic. She should know.
Do you believe in that stuff?
JOEL
I don’t know.
CLEMENTINE
Me neither. But sometimes I have
premonitions, so, I don’t know. Maybe
that’s just coincidence. Right? Y’know,
you think something and then it happens,
or you think a word and then someone says
it? Y’know?
JOEL
Yeah, I don’t know. It’s hard to know.
CLEMENTINE
Exactly. Exactly! That’s exactly my
feeling about it. It’s hard to know.
Like, okay, but how many times do I think
something and it doesn’t happen? That’s
what you’re saying, right? You forget
about those times. Right?
JOEL
Yeah, I guess.
CLEMENTINE
(dreamy beat)
But I think I am. I like to think I am.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
It’s helpful to think there’s some order
to things. You’re kind of closed
mouthed, aren’t you?
JOEL
Sorry. My life isn’t that interesting.
I go to work. I go home. I don’t know
what to say.
CLEMENTINE
Oh.
(considers this)
Does that make you sad? Or anxious? I’m
always anxious thinking I’m not living my
life to the fullest, y’know? Taking
advantage of every possibility? Just
making sure that I’m not wasting one
second of the little time I have.
JOEL
I think about that.
She looks at him really hard for a long moment. Joel tries
to hold her gaze, but can’t. He looks down at his drink.
Clementine starts to cry again.
CLEMENTINE
You’re really nice. I’m sorry I yelled
at you before about it. God, I’m an
idiot.
JOEL
I do have a tendency to use that word too
much.
CLEMENTINE
I like you. That’s the thing about my
psychic thing. I think that’s my
greatest psychic power, that I get a
sense about people. My problem is I
never trust it. But I get it. And with
you I get that you’re a really good guy.
JOEL
Thanks.
CLEMENTINE
And, anyway, you sell yourself short. I
can tell. There’s a lot of stuff going
on in your brain. I can tell. My
goal... can I tell you my goal?
JOEL
Yeah.
CLEMENTINE
(ala Paul Simon)
What’s the goal, Joel?
(laughs)
My goal, Joel, is to just let it flow
through me? Do you know what I mean?
It’s like, there’s all these emotions and
ideas and they come quick and they change
and they leave and they come back in a
different form and I think we’re all
taught we should be consistent. Y’know?
You love someone -- that’s it. Forever.
You choose to do something with your life
-- that’s it, that’s what you do. It’s a
sign of maturity to stick with that and
see things through. And my feeling is
that’s how you die, because you stop
listening to what is true, and what is
true is constantly changing. You know?
JOEL
Yeah. I think so. It’s hard to --
CLEMENTINE
Like I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t
need any more reason to do it. Who knows
what bigger cosmic reason might exist?
JOEL
Yeah.
CLEMENTINE
You’re very nice. God, I have to stop
saying that. You’re nervous around me,
huh?
JOEL
No.
CLEMENTINE
I’m nervous. You don’t need to be
nervous around me, though. I like you.
Do you think I’m repulsively fat?
JOEL
No, not at all.
CLEMENTINE
I don’t either. I used to. But I’m
through with that. Y’know, if I don’t
love my body, then I’m just lost. You
know?
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
With all the wrinkles and scars and the
general falling apart that’s coming
’round the bend.
(beat)
So, I’ve been seeing this guy...
Joel looks slightly crestfallen.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
(off his reaction)
Well, for the last week, anyway! He’s
kind of a kid. Kind of a goofball, but
he’s really stuck on me, which is
flattering. Who wouldn’t like that? And
he’s, like, a dope, but he says these
smart and moving things sometimes, out of
nowhere, that just break my heart. He’s
the one who gave me that crow photograph.
JOEL
Oh, yeah.
CLEMENTINE
That made me cry. But, anyway, we went
up to Boston, because I had this urge to
lie on my back on the Charles River. It
gets frozen this time of year.
JOEL
That’s scary sounding.
CLEMENTINE
Exactly! I used to do it in college and
I had this urge to go do it again, so I
got Patrick and we drove all night to get
there and he was sweet and said nice
things to me, but I was really
disappointment to be there with him.
Y’know? And that’s where psychic stuff
comes in. Like, it just isn’t right with
him. Y’know?
JOEL
I think so.
CLEMENTINE
I don’t believe in that soulmate crap
anymore, but... he says so many great
things. We like the same writers. This
writer Stephen Dixon he turned me on to.
And he’s cute. It’s fucked up. Joel,
you should come up to the Charles with me
sometime.
JOEL
Okay.
CLEMENTINE
Yeah? Oh, great!
She sits closer to him.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
I’ll pack a picnic -- a night picnic --
night picnics are different -- and --
JOEL
(shy)
Sounds good. But right now I should go.
CLEMENTINE
(pause)
You should stay.
JOEL
I have to get up early in the morning
tomorrow, so...
CLEMENTINE
(beat)
Okay.
Joel puts on his overcoat. Clementine heads to the phone
table, pulls out a notepad.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
I would like you to call me. Would you
do that? I would like that.
JOEL
Yes.
She scribbles her phone number, hands it to him. He puts it
in his pocket. He stands there uncomfortably for a moment,
then forces himself to speak.
JOEL (CONT’D)
I don’t think your personality comes out
of a tube. I think the hair is just... a
pretty topping.
She tears up, swallows, and kisses him on the cheek. He’s
surprised and pleased and nervous.
JOEL (CONT’D)
(shyly formal)
So, I enjoyed meeting you.
CLEMENTINE
You’ll call me, right?
JOEL
Yeah.
CLEMENTINE
When?
JOEL
Tomorrow?
CLEMENTINE
Tonight. Just to test out the phone
lines and all.
JOEL
Okay.
We stay with Clementine as she watches Joel tromping through
the snow and getting in his car.
INT. JOEL’S CAR - NIGHT
Joel speeds through the suburban Rockville Center
neighborhood. There is no snow on the ground. He seems
different, somehow foggy and disoriented.
SUBTITLE: THREE DAYS EARLIER
He arrives at his apartment building and parks.
EXT. JOEL’S APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
Joel gets out of his car, spots a van parked across the
street. There are two dark figures inside.
VOICE-OVER
Them.
He hurries inside the building.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel enters, dumps his overcoat on a chair, turns off the
lights, crosses to look furtively out the window. It’s
snowing in large flakes which seem to fall only in the beam
of a streetlight.
JOEL
It was snowing.
VOICE-OVER
There are two of them. Couldn’t make
them out. The orange glow of a
cigarette.
Joel squints to see inside the van. Two dark figures talk.
One sucks on a cigarette and s dim orange light momentarily
illuminates the interior. The figure in the driver seat
rolls down his window and gives a cheery wave to Joel.
JOEL
The driver waved. So casual, friendly.
VOICE-OVER
I’m like a joke to them.
Joel pulls away from the window, his face blanched.
VOICE-OVER
I guess they figure they can act like
they want. They don’t have to worry
about me remembering.
He paces, mulling things over. As he does, the scene starts
to change, almost as if it is drying out.
JOEL
I might be making a mistake.
VOICE-OVER
Maybe I’m making a mistake. Maybe I just
need to learn to live with this. First
of all, I’ll get over it. Secondly, it
happened. Those who do not remember
history are condemned to repeat it. Who
said that? Churchill? I’m not sure.
But I don’t care. She did it to me. I
have to rid myself of this. Fuck her.
JOEL
Fuck you, Clementine.
The colors bleach, the surroundings become slightly vague.
Even Joel’s persona and voice-over seem to alter, his
emotional intensity becoming diffused. Joel does not seem
aware of this. He stops pacing, takes a small vial from his
pocket, dumps the lone pill onto his palm. He looks at it.
It’s pink. There’s some illegible initials stamped on it.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Pink.
(beat)
There was a number on it. I remember.
AL 1718?
(beat)
I have to follow through with this. I
have no choice.
VOICE-OVER
The pill was pink, I remember. It had
some letters and numbers on it. What
were they? AL 1718? AL something. Four
digits. I don’t like taking pills when I
don’t know what they are. I have no
choice.
He swallows it, peeks out the window again, takes off his
clothes, slips into a pair of pajamas fresh from the store
packaging. He sits on the edge of the bed, dials the phone.
JOEL (CONT’D)
We’re sorry, the number you have
dialed...
(beat)
Screw you, Clementine, for doing this ...
RECORDED VOICE
We’re sorry, the number you have dialed
is no longer in service. If you think
you have reached this recording in error
-
JOEL (CONT’D)
Bye.
Joel hangs up and lies on his back on the bed. By now the
scene is lifeless, almost a husk. He hears the apartment
building door open. He hears footsteps.
JOEL (CONT’D)
It’s them.
VOICE-OVER
It’s too late.
His eyelids are getting heavy. He closes his eyes.
BLACK.
He hears a key in his apartment door.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Fuck.
INT. BOOKSTORE - NIGHT
Joel sits in the bookstore coffee shop. It’s a jarring
transition, visually and emotionally. Joel is in the midst
of some traumatic state of mind.
He fingers the vial with the pink pill in it as he watches
Clementine stack books on shelves. Her hair is bright orange
now.
JOEL
I should maybe talk to you.
VOICE-OVER
Clementine. I should just maybe talk to
her.
Joel rises and heads toward Clementine.
JOEL
I love you and if you knew that... if I
told you what happened... I’ll explain
everything, what we meant to each other.
I’ll tell you everything about our time
together. You’ll know everything again
and...
VOICE-OVER
Maybe if I just explain what happened, I
wouldn’t have to go through this and I
could tell you everything and it would be
like you knew and we could rebuild and we
could be happy again and...
Right before Joel gets there, Patrick, a skinny young man
approaches Clementine. Joel stops, watches. The young man
seems out of breath. He glances over at Joel, then taps
Clementine on the shoulder. She turns, annoyed, sees who it
is and her face lights up.
JOEL
Clementine.
VOICE-OVER
That’s your look for me.
Clementine giggles, stands and pokes Patrick playfully in the
ribs.
PATRICK
I just thought I’d say hi. I was in the
neighborhood.
CLEMENTINE
You were not.
PATRICK
I was not.
Joel is mesmerized by their familiarity. As he stands there,
the scene starts to dry out.
Clementine and Patrick continue their flirtation but it’s
turning lifeless, as if they are just reciting lines. The
bookstore start to lose its color and immediacy.
CLEMENTINE
Come over after I’m done here?
PATRICK
I can’t. I want to, but I have to study.
CLEMENTINE
You rat.
PATRICK
I really want to, but tonight’s
important. Test tomorrow.
JOEL
How could she have done this to me? How
could anyone do this to anyone?
CLEMENTINE
(to Patrick)
You didn’t say anything about my hair.
PATRICK
It’s so cool. You’re by far the most
sensational person in the room.
CLEMENTINE
In the room?
PATRICK
In the world.
Joel seems dazed, in some sort of dream confusion, as he
realizes the world around him is looking increasingly odd.
JOEL
What’s happening here?
(looks at watch; it’s 9:30)
Oh, God! I have to go home. They’ll be
there soon.
Joel turns to leave.
INT. JOEL’S CAR - NIGHT
Joel drives fast, recklessly. The intensity is back. He’s
weeping as he drives.
JOEL
Gotta get home. How could she do this to
me?
How could she not care about what we
meant to each other. What a fuck! What
a fucking monster she is!
VOICE-OVER
Oh, God. I miss her. I can’t believe
she’s with that guy now! I’m never going
to see her again. I love her so much.
What a fucking monster she is!
The scene is faded as he parks in front of his apartment
building, and gets out of the car. Joel spots the parked
van. We’ve seen this before, but it’s dried out now.
JOEL
Them.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
Joel trudges along carrying two big trash bags full of stuff.
He’s been crying. He looks behind him and finds himself
looking out the window of his apartment at the dark van on
the snowy street. He turns back to the New York Street and
spots the address he was looking for: 610 11th Avenue.
INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY
Joel sits in the small room with his bags. A woman across
from him cradles a box full of belongings in her lap. Her
eyes are red from crying. Mary, the receptionist, pokes her
head through her window into the waiting room.
MARY
Hello again, Mr. Barish. Good, you’ve
got your stuff.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Joel walks with his bags behind Mary.
MARY
(not looking back)
How are you today?
(at lab)
Here we are.
INT. LABORATORY - DAY
Joel enters. Mierzwiak stands there with Stan in his lab
coat.
MIERZWIAK
Ah, Mr. Barish. This is Stan. He’ll be
in charge of your procedure tonight.
Stan nods professionally.
STAN
Mr. Barish.
JOEL
How exactly is this going to work
tonight?
As Mierzwiak talks, the room colors start to fade,
Mierzwiak’s tone of voice is also affected; it becomes dry
and monotonous.
MIERZWIAK
We’ll start with your most recent
memories and go backwards -- There is an
emotional core to each of our memories --
As we eradicate this core, it starts its
degradation process -- By the time you
wake up in the morning, all memories
we’ve targeted will have withered and
disappeared. Like a dream upon waking.
JOEL
Is there any sort of risk of brain
damage?
MIERZWIAK
Well, technically, the procedure itself
is brain damage, but on a par with a
night of heavy drinking. Nothing you’ll
miss.
Joel looks quizzically at the eroding environment. Suddenly
he gets it.
JOEL
It’s happening now! I’m already in my
brain.
Mierzwiak looks at the fading room.
MIERZWIAK
Yes, I suppose you are.
(back in his faded memory
persona)
So, let’s get started -- If we want the
procedure underway tonight, we have some
work to do.
Joel is sitting in a chair. Electrodes connect him to some
electronic machinery monitored by Stan. Mierzwiak watches
from the corner.
STAN
We use the articles you brought to create
a map of Clementine in your brain.
Tonight while you sleep we’ll be able to
trace the map and erase.
JOEL
But you’re tracing and erasing now. It’s
already started. I’m home in my bed.
Stan pulls a snow globe from one of Joel’s bags, shows it to
Joel. The equipment registers Joel’s reaction.
STAN
Very good.
Stan pulls out a potato dressed as a Vegas showgirl. Joel
studies it. The machines register his response.
MIERZWIAK
We’ll dispose of these mementos when
we’re done here. That way you won’t be
confused later by their unexplainable
presence in your home.
Stan pulls out a coffee mug with a photo of Clementine
printed on it. Joel looks at the cup. The machines record
his reaction.
STAN
Good. We’re getting healthy read-outs.
The room, Stan, and Mierzwiak are now vague and wispy.
STAN’S VOICE
Patrick, do me a favor --
Joel is watching Stan. Stan is not speaking, yet his voice
continues.
STAN’S VOICE (CONT’D)
-- and check the voltage levels, I’m not
wiping as clean as I would like here.
Joel looks up. Stan’s voice seems to be coming from above.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel lies on his back in fresh pajamas. His eyes are closed
and electrodes connect his head to several machines. The
machines are operated by Stan, now in grubby street clothes
and in need of a shave, and by Patrick, dressed similarly.
The monitor on one of the machines traces a myriad of light
blips running like streams through an image of Joel’s brain.
Stan presses buttons and operates a joystick, aiming for the
lines. Patrick (who we saw earlier with Clementine at the
bookstore) studies a meter on one of the machines.
PATRICK
The voltage looks fine.
STAN
Then check the connections.
Patrick fiddles with some jacks.
PATRICK
Does that help?
STAN
Yeah, that looks better. Thanks.
INT. LAB ROOM - DAY
The memory is becoming vague, characters’ affects flat. Stan
pulls out a pile of loose-leaf pages. Mierzwiak smiles.
MIERZWIAK
Ah, your journal. This will be
invaluable.
STAN
(reading)
December 15th, 2004. I met someone
tonight. Oh, Christ: I don’t know what
to do. Her name is Clementine and she’s
amazing. So alive and spontaneous and
passionate and sensitive. Things with
Naomi and I have been stagnant for so
long.
The scene is just a shell of itself as Stan rattles on.
STAN’S VOICE
I think we got this one. Let’s push on.
Joel looks up at the ceiling.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - DAY
Joel, snapped into a new memory, cries as he fills two large
plastic garbage bags with mementos of his relationship with
Clementine. There are funny little gifts, wind-up toys, some
potatoes dressed as women, some clothing Clementine has left
there, some CD’s. He pulls a big clump of pages out of his
loose-leaf journal and dumps them in the bag.
He gets some clean loose-leaf paper and writes:
December 15, 2004 Nothing much happened today. I stayed
home. Naomi worked on her dissertation.
The scene is fading as he continues to write.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Joel looks for an office number. He finds it. The plaque on
the door reads Lacuna Ltd. Joel enters.
INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY
Joel enters the Lacuna waiting room. Mary sits in the
reception area.
MARY
May I help you?
JOEL
My name is Joel Barish. I have an
appointment.
MARY
Please have a seat. Dr. Mierzwiak will
be right with you.
INT. OFFICE HALL - DAY
Mary leads Joel down the hall.
MARY
(without turning)
How are you today?
JOEL
Not great.
MARY
(at Mierzwiak’s office)
Here we are.
Joel glimpses Mary smiling coquettishly at Mierzwiak.
INT. MIERZWIAK’S OFFICE - DAY
Joel and Mierzwiak are in the sitting area. Joel looks at
the tape recorder.
MIERZWIAK
I’m sorry you saw one of our notification
cards. You never should have.
JOEL
Well... I did.
MIERZWIAK
We can help you through this. Why don’t
you start now by telling me everything
you can remember about your relationship
with Clementine.
JOEL
(thinks, then:)
It was a mess. I don’t know how it got
this way...
PATRICK’S VOICE
It’s kind of a dump, don’t you think?
Joel looks up, trying to locate the voice.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Patrick is checking out the apartment. Stan monitors the
equipment.
STAN
(uninterested)
It’s an apartment.
PATRICK
Not a dump, then, but kind of plain.
Uninspired. And there’s a stale smell.
Sort of stuffy. I don’t know. Stuffy.
STAN
Patrick, let’s just get through this. We
have a long night ahead of us.
PATRICK
Yeah.
Patrick returns to the bedside, focuses on the machines for a
moment. He glances at the unconscious Joel.
PATRICK (CONT’D)
So who do you think is better-looking, me
or this guy?
Stan glances sideways at Patrick.
INT. MIERZWIAK’S OFFICE - DAY
Mierzwiak sits with Joel in the sitting area.
MIERZWIAK
So we’ll need you to go home and bring in
everything you ever received from
Clementine and anything that might remind
you of her...
The scene is faded and disappearing fast. It’s gone.
INT. JOEL’S OFFICE - DAY
Joel gets off the elevator and approaches the receptionist.
JOEL
So then she just stops calling.
VOICE-OVER
I wasn’t going to call her. Not after
the way she was.
JOEL
Any messages, Carmen?
Carmen the receptionist shakes her head.
Next day: Joel approaches the receptionist.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Any messages for me, Carmen.
CARMEN
Nothing, Joel.
VOICE-OVER
It’s bullshit. She’s punishing me for
being honest with her.
Joel is at his office desk on the phone.
PHONE MACHINE VOICE
You have no messages.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel enters, checks his phone machine: zero messages.
INT. JOEL’S OFFICE - DAY
Joel gets off the elevator, approaches Carmen, who is in
conversation with someone else.
JOEL
Sorry, Carmen. Any messages?
Carmen shakes her head "no", goes back to her conversation.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel checks his machine: zero messages.
VOICE-OVER
That’s it. I’m just gonna--
Without a moment’s hesitation, he dials the phone.
VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)
I’m gonna tell her I’m through playing
games and --
RECORDED VOICE
The number you have dialed has been
disconnected.
Joel’s eyes bug.
INT. ROB AND CARRIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Joel sits across Rob and Carrie, mid-40’s.
JOEL
Why would she do that?
VAGUE RECORDED VOICE
-- If you think you have reached this
recording in error, please check your
number and dial again.
CARRIE
I don’t know, honey. It’s horrible.
JOEL
She’s punishing me for being honest. I
should just go to her house.
ROB
I don’t think you should go there, Joel.
JOEL
Yeah, I don’t want to seem desperate.
CARRIE
Maybe you need to look at this as a sign
to move on. Just make a clean break.
JOEL
I don’t know. I’m so... I can’t believe
she’d be so goddamn immature!
ROB
Joel, look, the thing is --
CARRIE
(agitated, interrupting)
Joel, honey... We have to feed the dog.
Would you just wait here? Just a second.
Joel nods, confused, as Rob and Carrie leave the room and
close the door behind them. Joel hears a hushed argument
ensue in the hall. He notices the dog asleep on the floor.
He grabs a magazine off the coffee table, flips through it
distractedly as he paces, puts it down, picks up another. A
subscription card falls to the floor. He picks it up and is
about to shove it back in the magazine when he sees it is not
a subscription card at all. It reads:
Clementine Kruczynski has had Joel Barish erased from her
memory. Please never mention their relationship to her
again. Thank you.
Lacuna Ltd.
610 11th Avenue, NY, NY
Joel stares at the card, incredulous.
Later: Rob and Carrie are now back in the room.
CARRIE (CONT’D)
You weren’t supposed to see that.
JOEL
They can’t erase memories. It’s a joke.
It’s a nasty Clementine hoax.
CARRIE
Sweetie, we called the company.
Joel just stands there.
Close-up of a vague dictionary page.
VOICE-OVER
Lacuna: Noun. A blank, a missing
portion, especially in a manuscript.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel is on the phone pacing.
CARRIE’S VOICE
You can’t tell her, Joel. They explained
that. Like waking a sleepwalker. It
might have a devastating effect.
INT. JOEL’S CAR - NIGHT
Joel drives past vague local landmark.
CARRIE’S VOICE
Think about it: to be told you lived an
existence of which you have no
recollection.
JOEL’S VOICE
But what am I supposed to do?
CARRIE’S VOICE
Move on, sweetie.
JOEL’S VOICE
How can I? How can I move on when I know
I’m the only one to carry this love we
had? How do I do that?
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Joel in his parked car next to a fence surrounding a drive-in
movie closed for the season. He weeps. The windows fog up
until the outside is completely obscured.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
Joel looks for an address.
INT. ELEVATOR - DAY
Joel gets off on the sixth floor. He searches for a room
number. As he turns the corner, he sees that the hallway is
faded, vague and mostly erased. He keeps walking, comes to
the door marked Lacuna and opens it. Inside he can see
vague, erased version of Mary the receptionist.
MARY
(dead monotone)
Hi, May I help you?
These degraded, faded memories allow Joel to detach himself
and hear what’s going on in his bedroom.
STAN’S VOICE
So, Mary’s coming over tonight.
Joel looks up.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Stan works the joystick. Patrick sits on the bed with Joel.
PATRICK
Yeah?
STAN
Just wanted to let you know.
PATRICK
I like Mary. I like when she comes to
visit. I just don’t think she likes me.
STAN
She likes you okay.
PATRICK
I wonder if I should invite my girlfriend
over, too. I have a girlfriend now.
STAN
You can if you want.
PATRICK
Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
STAN
(re: memory on monitor)
This one’s history. Moving on...
PATRICK
The thing is ... my situation is a little
weird. My girlfriend situation.
STAN
Patrick, we need to focus.
Stan aims the joystick.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel distractedly reads a book, checks the clock, goes back
to the book. The door opens. He looks up. Clementine is
staggering in, drunk.
CLEMENTINE
Yo ho ho!
JOEL
It’s three.
VOICE-OVER
Shit. The last time I saw you.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Anyhoo, sweetie, I done a bad thing. I
kinda sorta wrecked your car...
JOEL
I can’t believe you wrecked my car.
JOEL
You’re driving drunk. It’s pathetic.
CLEMENTINE
...a little. I was a little tipsy.
Don’t call me pathetic.
JOEL
Well it is pathetic. And fucking
irresponsible. You could’ve killed
somebody.
The scene is starting to degrade. The acting becomes anemic.
JOEL (CONT’D)
I don’t know, maybe you did kill
somebody.
CLEMENTINE
Oh Christ I didn’t kill anybody. It’s
just a fucking dent. You’re like some
old lady or something.
VOICE-OVER
Right! She called me an old lady here,
too! And I remember, I said...
JOEL (CONT’D)
And what are you like? A wino?
CLEMENTINE
A wino? Jesus, Are you from the fifties?
A wino!
(laughs)
Face it, Joel. You’re freaked out
because I was out late without you, and
in your little wormy brain, you’re trying
to figure out, did she fuck someone
tonight?
JOEL
No, see, Clem, I assume you fucked
someone tonight. Isn’t that how you get
people to like you?
This shuts Clementine up. She is stung and she starts
gathering up her belongings, which are strewn about the
apartment. Joel is immediately sorry he said this. He
follows her around.
JOEL (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. Okay. I didn’t mean that. I
just... I was just... pissed, I guess.
Clementine is out the door. Joel follows.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Joel looks at his dented car, looks at Clementine clomping
off in the distance.
INT. JOEL’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Joel drives to catch up with Clementine. He rolls down his
window to talk to her.
JOEL
Let me drive you home.
CLEMENTINE
(without turning)
Fuck you, Joel. Faggot.
JOEL
Look at it out here. It’s falling apart.
I’m erasing you. And I’m happy.
She keeps clomping.
JOEL (CONT’D)
You did it to me. I can’t believe you
did this to me. By morning you’ll be
gone. Ha!
He stops the car, gets out.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
It’s a street you might see in a dream, more an impression of
a quiet street than an actual one, with what little detail
there is obscured in darkness. Joel wanders it. In the
distance Clementine walks off, but as in an animated loop,
she doesn’t get any farther away. It’s lonely.
PATRICK’S VOICE
See, remember that girl? The one we did
last week? The one with the potatoes?
Joel looks up, startled.
STAN’S VOICE
Yeah, that’s this guy’s girlfriend. Was.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Stan watches the screen. Patrick paces, fidgets, looks at
the unconscious Joel.
PATRICK
I gotta tell you something. I kind of
fell in love with her last night.
STAN
She was unconscious, Patrick.
PATRICK
She was beautiful. So sweet and funky
and voluptuous. I kind of stole a pair
of her panties, is what.
STAN
Jesus, Patrick!
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
On the vague street Joel listens to Patrick and Stan.
PATRICK’S VOICE
I know. It’s not like... I mean, they
were clean and all.
STAN’S VOICE
Look, just don’t tell me this stuff. I
don’t want to know this shit.
PATRICK’S VOICE
Yeah, okay.
STAN’S VOICE
We have work to do.
There’s a click and Joel finds himself in --
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel and Clementine sit and eat dinner in front of the TV.
It’s hard to make out what they’re watching.
They sit on opposite ends of the couch. They look bored.
The scene quickly degenerates. The room fades.
PATRICK’S VOICE
Okay, but there’s more.
Joel listens.
PATRICK’S VOICE (CONT’D)
After we did her, I went to where she
worked and I asked her out.
Joel looks over at the faded Clementine across the couch.
She stares straight ahead at the TV.
STAN’S VOICE
Patrick... do you know how unethical...
JOEL
That must be the guy I saw you with.
VOICE-OVER
In the bookstore that night. The skinny
guy.
There’s a click and Joel finds himself in --
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel watches TV. Clementine walks by in her underwear, looks
at the TV. She slips into a skirt.
CLEMENTINE
How can you watch this crap?
JOEL
Where are you going?
CLEMENTINE
I’m fucking crawling out of my skin.
The scene starts to fade. Clementine puts on her shoes and
heads out the door.
EXT. ZOO - DAY
Joel and Clementine walk around unhappily. They barely look
at the animals. Clementine watches parents with babies.
JOEL
Oh shit. I remember this.
(to Clementine)
Want to go?
CLEMENTINE
(pissy)
I want to have a baby.
JOEL
Let’s talk about it later.
CLEMENTINE
No. I want to have a baby. I have to
have a baby.
JOEL
I don’t think we’re ready.
CLEMENTINE
You’re not ready.
JOEL
Clementine, do you really think you could
take care of a kid?
She turns violently toward him, glaring.
CLEMENTINE
What?!
JOEL
(mumbly)
I don’t want to talk about this here.
CLEMENTINE
Joel, We’re fucking gonna talk about it!
Joel looks around. People are watching.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
You can’t fucking say something like that
and say you don’t want to talk about it!
JOEL
Clem, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have --
CLEMENTINE
(screaming now)
I’d make a fucking good mother! I love
children! I’m creative and smart and I’d
make a fucking good mother!
The scene starts to fade. Clementine’s rant continues but
becomes attenuated and vague.
JOEL
Oh, thank God. It’s going.
CLEMENTINE
It’s you! It’s you who can’t commit to
anything! You have no idea how lucky you
are I’m interested in you! I don’t even
know why I am! I should just end it
right here, Joel. Leave you in the zoo.
Maybe you could find a nice sloth to hang
out with!
She’s crying now, but it’s almost animatronic, no real
emotion in it. The scene is a husk.
JOEL
It’s going, Clementine. All the crap and
hurt and disappointment. It’s all being
wiped away.
She looks up at him.
CLEMENTINE
I’m glad.
Their eyes lock. She is fading before his eyes.
JOEL
Me, too.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
It’s noisy and crowded. Joel and Clementine sit at a small
table. She is drunk and staring off, blankly.
JOEL
So, um --
CLEMENTINE
(swiveling head toward him)
Would you get me another, Joely?
Joel sighs, stands, and heads to the crowded bar.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Thanky! Thanky!
Joel is at the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention.
Joel is paying the bartender. He turns with the drink to
head back to the table. He sees Clementine flirting with a
man in Joel’s seat.
Joel is at the table. Clementine looks from her
conversation.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Joel, this is Mark. He likes my boobs.
He came over special to tell me that.
Isn’t that nice. He doesn’t think I’m
fat.
The scene starts to fade. Mark rises.
MARK
I didn’t know she was with someone, man.
CLEMENTINE
S’okay, Mark. Joel doesn’t like my
boobs.
(stage whisper)
I don’t think he likes girls.
The bar gets quiet and vague.
JOEL
You’re drunk.
CLEMENTINE
You’re a whiz kid. So perceptive, so --
Clementine keeps talking but there are no more intelligible
words, just a whisper -- like a breeze.
A doorbell buzzes. Joel looks up.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Patrick opens the door. Mary stands there in a winter coat,
carrying a backpack.
MARY
(coolly)
Oh, hey, Patrick.
PATRICK
Hi, Mary. How’s it going?
She walks past him.
STAN
Hey, you.
Stan and Mary kiss. She looks down at Joel as she takes off
her coat.
MARY
It’s freezing out.
STAN
You found us okay?
MARY
Yeah.
(re: Joel)
Poor guy.
(looking around)
Have anything to drink?
STAN
We haven’t checked.
MARY
Well, allow me to do the honors. It’s
fucking freezing and I need something.
She heads into the kitchen. Stan turns back to monitor the
slivers of light.
PATRICK
Mary hates me. I’ve never been popular
with the ladies.
STAN
Maybe if you stopped stealing their
panties.
PATRICK
(guilty beat)
Okay, There’s more, Stan --
Stan looks over at Patrick. Mary returns with a bottle of
scotch and two glasses.
MARY
Hey, hey.
She pours the whiskey.
MARY (CONT’D)
Oh, Patrick, you didn’t want any, did
you?
PATRICK
Nah, I don’t know.
Mary hands a glass to Stan. She holds hers up in a toast.
MARY
Blessed are the forgetful, for they get
the better even of their blunders.
Mary and Stan click glasses.
MARY (CONT’D)
Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. Found
it my Bartletts.
STAN
That’s a good one.
MARY
Yeah, I can’t wait to tell Howard! It
seems really appropriate.
STAN
(a little sulky)
It’s a good one all right.
PATRICK
What’s your bartlett’s?
STAN
It’s a quote book.
MARY
I love quotes. So did Winston Churchill.
He actually has a quotation in Bartlett’s
about Bartlett’s. Isn’t that trippy?
PATRICK
(trying to engage)
Yeah. Cool.
MARY
"The quotations when engraved upon the
memory give you good thoughts."
PATRICK
Very cool. Trippy.
MARY
I like to read what smart people say. So
many beautiful, important things.
STAN
Yup.
MARY
Don’t you think Howard’s like that?
Smart? Important?
STAN
(beat)
Yup.
PATRICK
Definitely!
MARY
I think he’ll be in Bartlett’s one day.
Stan focuses on the monitor. Mary pours herself another
drink.
PATRICK
Definitely.
INT. JOEL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
It’s dark. Joel and Clementine are in bed. The memory is
already in the midst of being erased. Clementine is talking
in a monotonous, robotic manner.
CLEMENTINE
You don’t tell me things, Joel. I’m an
open book. I tell you everything. Every
damn embarrassing thing. You don’t trust
me.
JOEL
No, it isn’t that.
CLEMENTINE
I want to know you.
JOEL
I just don’t have anything very
interesting about my life.
CLEMENTINE
Joel, you’re a liar.
The scene is faded completely now and Joel just lies there
for a moment, registering Clementine’s statement.
INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Joel and Clementine eat dinner in silence. Joel looks around
at other couples in the restaurant. Some seem happy and
engaged. Others seem bored with each other. He turns back
to his food.
JOEL
How’s the chicken?
VOICE-OVER
Is that like us? Are we just bored with
each other?
CLEMENTINE
Good.
He watches her as she downs her wine and pours herself
another glass. She holds the wine bottle up to Joel.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
More?
JOEL
No. Thanks.
There’s a silence.
CLEMENTINE
How’s the fish?
The scene is fading.
JOEL
It’s good.
They continue to eat in silence as the scene dissolves.
PATRICK’S VOICE
Hi, Clementine! -- Why, what’s wrong? --
Oh, I’m sorry. -- Well, I’m not sure, I
kind of have to study for my test --
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Patrick is on the phone next to Joel’s bed. Stan watches the
lights on the computer screen.
PATRICK
Hold on. Let me ask my friend.
(covering mouthpiece)
Stan, can I leave for a little while? My
girlfriend is very --
STAN
Patrick, we’re in the middle of --
PATRICK
She’s right in the neighborhood. She’s
upset.
Mary is in the kitchen. She pokes her head out. She’s got
some pie on a plate.
MARY
Let him go, Stan. I can help.
STAN
(sighing, to Patrick)
Go.
PATRICK
(quietly)
Mary hates me.
(into phone)
I’ll be right over, Tangerine.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Candles are lit. Joel and Clementine are under a blanket on
the living room rug listening to music.
CLEMENTINE
Joely...
JOEL
Yeah, Tangerine?
CLEMENTINE
Do you know The Velveteen Rabbit?
JOEL
No.
CLEMENTINE
It’s my favorite book. Since I was a
kid. It’s about these toys. There’s
this part where the skin Horse tells the
rabbit what it means to be real.
(crying)
I can’t believe I’m crying already. He
says, "It takes a long time. That’s why
it doesn’t often happen to people who
break easily or have sharp edges, or who
have to be carefully kept. Generally by
the time you are Real, most of your hair
has been loved off, and your eyes drop
out and you get loose in the joints and
very shabby. But these things don’t
matter at all, because once you are Real
you can’t be ugly, except to people who
don’t understand."
She’s weeping. Joel is stroking her hair. They kiss and
begin to make love under the blanket. It’s sweet and gentle
and then it starts to fade.
JOEL
(screaming)
No! Jesus, No!
He looks down and Clementine’s tear-streaked face is fading.
She continues as if she’s still being made love to, even
though Joel is completely beside himself. He jumps up naked
and yells at the ceiling.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Please! Please! I’ve changed my mind!
(looks down at fading
Clementine, then at ceiling)
I don’t want this. Wake me up! Stop the
procedure! Plea --
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Joel is unconscious on the bed, completely still. Mary and
Stan watch the monitor and smoke a joint. After a silence:
MARY
It’s amazing, isn’t it? Such a gift
Howard gave the world.
STAN
(a sigh)
Yeah.
MARY
To let people begin again. It’s
beautiful. You look at a baby and it’s
so fresh, so clean, so free. And
adults... they’re like this messy tangle
of anger and phobias and sadness...
hopelessness. And Howard just makes it
go away.
STAN
You love him, don’t you?
Mary seems surprised, taken aback, caught. She is silent for
a long moment.
MARY
No.
(beat)
Besides, Howard’s married, Stan. He’s a
very serious and ethical man. I’m not
going to tempt him to betray all he
believes in.
Stan takes another drag on the joint, passes it to Mary.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Patrick, bundled up and carrying a full backpack, trudges
through the snow.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Clementine watches out the window as Patrick nears. She’s
crying. He makes his way up her front stairs. She swings
open the door and hugs him.
PATRICK
Oh, baby, what’s going on?
CLEMENTINE
I don’t know. I’m lost. I’m scared. I
feel like I’m disappearing. I’m getting
old and nothing makes any sense to me.
PATRICK
Oh, Tangerine.
CLEMENTINE
Nothing makes any sense. Nothing makes
any sense.
She pushes herself out of the embrace and looks at Patrick.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Come up to Boston with me?
PATRICK
Sure. We’ll go next weekend and --
CLEMENTINE
Now. Now! I have to go now. I have to
see the frozen Charles! Now! Tonight!
PATRICK
Um, okay. I’ll call my study partner.
CLEMENTINE
Yay! It’ll be great! I’ll get my shit.
She runs into the bedroom. Patrick is at the phone and
realizes he doesn’t know Joel’s number. After a moment’s
thought, he *69’s. The phone rings.
JOEL’S VOICE
Hi, it’s Joel. Please leave a message
after the beep.
Beep.
PATRICK
(whisper)
Stan, it’s Patrick. Pick up.
STAN’S VOICE
Hey, where are you?
PATRICK
I got into a situation with the old lady.
Can you handle things tonight alone? I’m
really sorry, man.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Stan is on the phone. He’s really stoned and watches Mary,
stoned herself, dancing in a sexy trance to something soft
and low on the stereo.
STAN
I can handle it. He’s pretty much on
auto-pilot anyway.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
PATRICK
Thanks, Stan. I owe you.
Patrick hangs up, rifles quickly through his backpack. He
pulls out a silver bracelet, puts it in his pocket, then
pulls out a journal, flips through it, keeping an eye on the
bedroom door. The handwriting is a woman’s. He finds what
he’s looking for. He reads:
CLEMENTINE’S VOICE
I took Joel to walk on Charles River with
me last night. It was so beautiful and
charming. Joel was nervous about
stepping onto the ice, but he wanted to
please me so much -- he’s so sweet --
that he came out after me. We lay down
right in the center and watched the
stars. He took my hand and said "I
could...
EXT. CHARLES RIVER - NIGHT
Joel and Clementine lie together holding hands on the frozen
river. They look up at the stars.
JOEL
...die right now, Clem. I’m just...
happy. I’ve never felt that before. I’m
just exactly where I want to be.
Clementine looks over at him. Her eyes are filled with love
and tears. Then they get vague. The scene is being erased.
Joel is panicked.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Clem, no! This can’t keep happening.
Please! Oh, fuck! Please!
Crazily, Joel runs off, passing through a series of decayed
scenes: He and Clementine arguing in a car, having sex on the
beach, laughing and holding hands at a movie, eating grilled
cheese and tomato soup together in bed, Joel watching her
sleep, them drinking at a bar. He arrives at a decayed
version of his first meeting with Mierzwiak.
MIERZWIAK
We can help you through this. Why don’t
you start now by telling me everything
you can remember about --
JOEL
You have to stop this!
MIERZWIAK
What? What do you mean?
JOEL
I’m trapped in my head and everything I
love is being erased! Stop it now!
MIERZWIAK
Yes, but... I’m just something you’re
imagining. What can I do? I’m in your
head, too.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Patrick reads the journal.
CLEMENTINE’S VOICE
... and we made love right on the ice.
It was absolutely freezing on my ass! It
was wonderful.
Clementine enters, dressed for the cold. Patrick puts the
notebook away.
CLEMENTINE
I’m so excited. Yay!
PATRICK
I’m excited, too. Oh, and I wanted to
give you this. It’s a little... thing.
Patrick pulls the bracelet from his pocket, hands it to her.
PATRICK (CONT’D)
I didn’t have a chance to wrap it.
CLEMENTINE
It’s gorgeous.
(slipping it on)
Just my taste. I’ve never gone out with
a guy who brought me a piece of jewelry I
liked.
(kisses him)
Thanks. So let’s get going. Long drive.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Stan and Mary have sex on the floor next to Joel’s bed.
EXT. FOREST - DAY
Joel and Clementine are hiking, Clementine in front.
CLEMENTINE
Such a beautiful view.
JOEL
(looking at her)
Yes indeed.
(snapping out of memory)
Fuck! They’re erasing you, Clem!
CLEMENTINE
Oh?
JOEL
I hired them to. We’re in my brain. But
I want it to stop, before I wake up and
don’t know you anymore.
CLEMENTINE
Wow. Um, well... can’t you just force
yourself awake?
JOEL
I don’t know.
He concentrates. Nothing happens.
JOEL (CONT’D)
Aaargh! It’s horrible! I’m trapped!
He starts to have a fit, banging against trees, stomping his
feet, screaming. But even while he’s doing this the memory
and Clementine are fading around him.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - DAY
It’s raining out. Joel is reading, slouched in a chair. He
looks over at Clementine, stretched out on her belly in her
underwear. She’s reading, too.
VOICE-OVER
She’s so sexy.
JOEL
I loved you on this day. I love this
memory. The rain. Us just hanging.
Clementine looks over at him, smiles. Her brow furrows in
thought.
CLEMENTINE
What if you hide me?
JOEL
What do you mean?
CLEMENTINE
(formulating)
Well... if they’re looking for me in
memories I’m in, what if you take me to a
memory I’m not in?
(proud)
And we can hide there till morning.
Joel ponders this. The scene and Clementine are beginning to
dissolve. Joel grabs Clementine’s hand. She giggles with
glee. He pulls her out of the scene as it degrades.
JOEL
Where? Where? Where?
He drags her through the landscape of already decayed
memories and turns off into:
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
The kitchen is dated and vague. Joel and Clementine are in
an oversized playpen; they’re adults but small. Joel wears
footsie pajamas with some vague little animals on them. He
holds a a red furry huckleberry hound doll. Clementine is
still in her panties and bra. An oversized woman in high
heels, seen from a low angle, hurries back and forth
preparing dinner.
CLEMENTINE
Jesus. What’s this?
Joel looks around at the kitchen, at his doll, at the woman.
JOEL
I must be about two.
(oddly)
I want my mommy. She’s busy. She’s not
looking at me.
(back to himself, re: doll)
Look, my Huckleberry Hound doll! I told
you about this!
(beat)
I want my mommy!
He starts to cry. Clementine tries to comfort him. She hugs
him.
JOEL (CONT’D)
(crying still)
I want my mommy.
(adult, to Clementine)
I don’t want to lose you, Clem.
CLEMENTINE
I’m right here.
JOEL
I’m scared. I want my mommy. I don’t
want to lose you. I don’t want to
lose...
CLEMENTINE
Joel, Joely, look... it’s not fading.
The memory. I think we’re hidden.
Joel sucks in some snot. His mother scurries back and forth
clanging pots. The room is not decaying. Joel smiles.
INT. JOEL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Stan and Mary lie on the floor, their stoned minds wandering
after sex. Stan suddenly perks up. He looks at the monitor.
STAN
It’s stopped.
MARY
What?
STAN
Listen, it’s not erasing.
He makes his way, naked, to the computer screen.
STAN (CONT’D)
It’s not erasing. He’s off the screen.
MARY
Where?
STAN
I don’t know. He’s not on the map.
Stan tries to break through his marijuana haze. He fiddles
nervously with the equipment.
STAN (CONT’D)
I don’t know what to do! I don’t know
what to do! Crap. Crap...
MARY
Well, what should we do?
STAN
I don’t know! I just said that!
MARY
Sor-ry
(beat)
We have to do something. He can’t wake
up half done.
STAN
Shit!
He jerks the joystick spastically. Mary, also naked, gets up
and looks over his shoulder at the screen.
MARY
(definitely)
We should call Howard.
Stan turns and looks at her. He’s stoned and trying to
understand her motivation.
STAN
No way. I can handle this.
MARY
This guy’s only half cooked. There’s no
time to fuck around, Stan.
Stan tries to think. He paces. Mary watches him. Finally:
STAN
(without making eye contact)
Okay.
He dials the phone, waits.
STAN (CONT’D)
Hello, Howard?
INT. MIERZWIAK’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The room is dark. A groggy Mierzwiak is in bed on the phone.
His wife lies beside him, eyes open, listening.
MIERZWIAK
Stan? What’s going on?
STAN’S VOICE
The guy we’re doing? He’s disappeared
from the map. I can’t find him anywhere.
MIERZWIAK
Okay, what happened right before he
disappeared?
STAN’S VOICE
I was away from the monitor for a second.
I had it on automatic. I had to go pee.
MIERZWIAK
Well, where was Patrick?
STAN’S VOICE
He went home sick.
MIERZWIAK
Jesus. All right, what’s the address.
STAN’S VOICE
1062 Sherman Drive. Apartment 1E,
Rockville Center.
Mierzwiak writes it down on a bedside not pad. He hangs up.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Stan hangs up the phone, looks at Mary.
MARY
He’s coming?
STAN
You better go.
MARY
Hell no.
She starts getting dressed.
MARY (CONT’D)
Shit, I’m so stoned. I don’t want him to
see me stoned. Stop being stoned, Mary!
She hurries into the bathroom with her bag.
MARY (CONT’D) (O.S.) (CONT’D)
God, I look like shit! God!
Mary slams the bathroom door. Stan puts his head in his
hands.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Joel and Clementine are in the playpen. Joel’s oversized
mother reaches down as she hurries by and pats Joel on the
head.
MOTHER
How’s my baby boy?
She’s gone.
JOEL
I really want her to pick me up. It’s
weird how strong that desire is.
Clementine holds his hand. He looks over at her.
CLEMENTINE
You know, we’re okay. They’re not
finding us. You’ll remember me in the
morning. And you’ll come to me and tell
me about us and we’ll start over.
JOEL
I loved you so much this day. On my bed
in your panties. I remember I thought,
how impossibly lucky am I to have you on
my bed in your panties.
She kisses him.
CLEMENTINE
You remember what happened next?
JOEL
I came over to the bed and you smelled so
good, like you just woke up, slightly
sweaty. And I climbed on the bed with
you and you said something like --
CLEMENTINE
-- another rainy day. Whatever shall we
do?
He laughs. She unbuttons his pajamas. They begin to make
love. Joel’s mother hurries around the kitchen. Joel stops,
looks at Clementine.
JOEL
There’s this guy!
CLEMENTINE
What?
JOEL
There’s this guy. I heard him talking in
my apartment. He’s one of the eraser
guys. And he fell for you when they were
erasing you, so he introduced himself the
next day as if he were a stranger and now
you’re dating him.
CLEMENTINE
Really? Is he cute?
JOEL
He stole a pair of your panties while you
were being erased!
CLEMENTINE
Gross! You must remember to tell me this
in the morning. I’m, like, so freaked
out now.
INT. CLEMENTINE’S CAR - NIGHT
It’s a rust bucket. Clementine drives through the snow.
She’s crying and holding Patrick’s hand.
CLEMENTINE
What’s wrong with me?
PATRICK
Nothing is wrong with you. You’re the
most wonderful person I’ve ever met.
She glances gratefully over at him then starts to cry even
harder.
INT. JOEL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Stan works on trying to get the signal back. His hair is
combed and he’s dressed neatly, looking professional but
still stoned. Mary is pacing nervously to and from the
window, looking out into the night. She’s dressed also, and
she’s wearing more make-up now. Her hair is pulled up into
some sort of style. Suddenly she freezes at the window.
MARY
There he is. Oh my God. Oh my God. Do
I look okay?
She doesn’t say anything.
MARY (CONT’D)
I’m still stoned. Are you? Crap.
She looks in the mirror.
MARY (CONT’D)
(to Joel)
Your Visine didn’t do shit, fella.
The doorbell buzzes. Mary lunges for the door, then calms
herself before opening it. Mierzwiak, holding an equipment
bag, looks surprised.
MIERZWIAK
Mary. What are you doing here?
STAN
She came to help, Howard.
MARY
I wanted to learn as much about the
procedure as possible, Howard. I think
it’s important for my job...to help
comfort the clientele. You know.
Mierzwiak looks from Mary to Stan, nods, and enters. Mary
closes the door. Mierzwiak crosses to the equipment.
MIERZWIAK
Let’s get to the bottom of this. Shall
we?
He sits down in front of the computer and does some fiddling.
MIERZWIAK (CONT’D)
Odd.
He fiddles some more. Mary looks on, fascinated.
STAN
I tried that already.
MIERZWIAK
Did you try going through C-Gate?
STAN
Yeah. Of course.
Mierzwiak ponders. He unzips his equipment bag, pulls out
another laptop computer and plugs it in to the system.
MIERZWIAK
I’m going to do a Spectrum search
throughout his memory, see if anything
comes up.
Mierzwiak presses some more buttons. The program starts up.
A much more complex and detailed human brain appears on this
screen. It rotates. Eventually Mierzwiak sees a small
distant light in the brain. He zeroes in on it.
MIERZWIAK (CONT’D)
Okay, here it is. I don’t know why it’s
off the map like that, but --
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Joel is being bathed in the oversized sink by his oversized
mother. Clementine sits in the water with him, laughing.
The mother doesn’t seem to see her.
MOTHER
Little baby getting awwwl cleean. Awl
clean.
JOEL
(to Clementine)
I love getting bathed in the sink. It’s
such a feeling of security.
CLEMENTINE
(giggling)
I’ve never seen you happier.
The elements of the scene flash explosively away: Joel’s
mother, his Huckleberry Hound doll, the details of the
kitchen, Clementine. Joel is thrown into:
INT. CAR - NIGHT
He sits with Clementine in the parked car, outside a drive-in
movie theater. The movie on the giant screen is partially
obscured by a fence. Joel and Clementine drink wine.
INT. JOEL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mierzwiak looks up from the computer screen.
MIERZWIAK
Okay, we’re back in.
MARY
That was beautiful to watch, Howard.
Like a surgeon or a concert pianist.
MIERZWIAK
Well, thank you, Mary.
STAN
(sighing)
You get some sleep, Howard. I’ll take it
from here.
MIERZWIAK
Yeah, probably a good idea.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Clementine and Joel laugh as they try to give voice to what
the characters on the screen are saying.
CLEMENTINE
But can’t you see... I love you, Antoine.
JOEL
Don’t call me Antoine. My name is Wally.
CLEMENTINE
Yes, but I can’t love a man named Wally.
She starts to fade. The scene starts to fade. Joel
remembers their previous plan.
JOEL
They found us before. The plan didn’t
work. I don’t know what to do now.
CLEMENTINE
(mouthing to woman on screen)
Hide me somewhere deeper? Somewhere
buried?
Joel grabs her. They run off just as the scene decays into a
husk behind them.
INT. JOEL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Stan is back at the controls. Mierzwiak’s at the door with
Mary.
STAN
Howard, they’ve disappeared again.
MIERZWIAK
Oh dear.
MARY
I’m so sorry, Howard, you must be tired.
He nods, distractedly. She smiles to herself as he heads
back to the equipment.
EXT. SCHOOLYARD - AFTERNOON
Joel, now the size of a junior high school kid and dressed
accordingly, is peering around the corner of the school
building toward the bike rack. Clementine is with him,
dressed as she was in the parked car.
CLEMENTINE
Look at you, cutey! What are we doing?
JOEL
This kid, Joe Early, is going to beat the
shit out of me.
VOICE-OVER
I’m terrified. I thought if I hung
around the art room long enough, he’d go
home and I could get my bike.
They head toward the bike rack. Joel’s is the only bike
remaining.
CLEMENTINE (CONT’D)
Poor Joel.
They’re at the bike rack and a bunch of kids, including
giant, fat Joe Early come around the corner.
JOE EARLY
Hi, Jill.
JOEL
He calls me Jill. Everyone calls me Jill
after this.
The other kids laughs.
JOEL
Just shut up, Joe. I’m going home.
JOE EARLY
I don’t think so. We’re fighting.
JOEL
I don’t want to fight you.
The kids start chanting, "fight, fight, fight..." Joe Early
throws a wild punch that hits Joel in the side. joel falls
and stays down, covering himself.
JOE EARLY
C’mon, Jill. Get up, faggot. C’mon.
Joel doesn’t say anything. He peeks humiliated at
Clementine. She’s watching him. She’s got a tear in her
eye. She kneels down beside him, puts her arm around him.
JOEL
I’m too scared to even throw a punch.
When I tell people this story I leave
that part out.
The scene flashes violently to white and is gone.
INT. JOEL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Mierzwiak is at the machine.
MIERZWIAK
We got him back. Stan, I think I’m just
going to have to get through this
manually. We’re running late.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
It’s cold. Joel and Clementine walk, all bundled up. She
points at a house up the beach.
CLEMENTINE
Our house! Our house!
She runs ahead, laughing. The scene is decaying. Joel
chases after her.
JOEL
Clem, c’mon, we’ve got to hide you.
Remember?
He grabs her arm and yanks and they are in:
INT. BOY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
It’s dark. Joel, junior high school size, is in bed
masturbating. Clementine is in there, too, in her winter
coat, still laughing from before. She realizes what’s going
on.
CLEMENTINE
(mock offended)
Joel!
JOEL
(continuing to masturbate)
I don’t like it either, but I’m just
trying to find horrible secret place to --
Joel’s mother pops her head in the door.
MOTHER
Joel, I was just --
(sees what’s going on)
Oh. Um... I’ll ask you in the morning,
honey. Have a good night.
The mother backs out, closes the door. Joel cringes.
Clementine laughs, still in the mode of the memory she was
swiped from. Flash! It’s all gone.
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Joel and Clementine are laughing as she blows out the candle
on a slice of cheesecake in front of her. Joel hands her a
small wrapped box.
JOEL
Happy Birthday.
CLEMENTINE
(unwrapping the gift)
Thanks, Joely. A prese